A while back I recall reading a post on some blog (I THINK it was NSWATM) on a study that showed men as well as women were more mindful about what they ate when they were in the company of others. I didn't think I did this but low and behold I do.
A few days ago while out to lunch I came across some coworkers who offered me a seat at their table and I accepted. Just to explain I live in what one would call the boonies so its not like options to eat out are all over the place. Anyway this place in particular has a pretty good buffet given the lack of choice. And by pretty good I mean two plate plied up followed by dessert minimum good.
Oddly enough on that day, with those coworkers, I only ate a salad and a single modest plate.
It actually hit me as I was leaving that I actually cut my meal short out of fear of "looking like a pig". Don't get me wrong there's nothing bad about cutting your meal short in and of itself. To me its a matter of why one cut's their meal short. Am I doing it for me or am I doing it for other people? That whole thing about ends and means and justification.
Just an observation.
Excuse me while I rack my brain thinking back on every meal I've had with company to examine if I cut the meal short because I was with company (or because of certain company)....
Later.
Showing posts with label danny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label danny. Show all posts
Friday, December 02, 2011
Sunday, November 13, 2011
The only good touches for men are sexual?
Yes I am still in this world. Its just that while I was in the hospital with my dad last week it was all I had to continue my own blog. But don't worry he's good and now the show continues.
(Normally I keep my personal stuff at my place but I think this is just too big to presume that I'm the only guy that feels this way.)
I've been on a bit of a self diagnostic kick lately and have been reminded of another part of me that's probably a bit lacking.
Last week titfortat told me:
To which I responded with:
Well I was going to revisit this later on but Ozy's touched on it a bit so now's as good a time as any.
As I was telling titfortat in the comments of that post I've never had a massage before. Well it actually goes beyond laying on a table wrapped in a towel and getting rubbed down. In a short bit of thinking I can only count 2 times in my life that I've ever been touched in a massaging manner in a non professional setting. Hell the only time I hug people is when the other person reaches for me first.
But anyway when it comes to being a man and touching it just seems that that, like most other, line of emotional support is forbidden to us as a part of how we are conditioned to fulfill our role in The System. No we are supposed to rock hard stoic creatures in order to charge forth and do all that we can to make The System stronger (namely in the way of labor as external providers). Because really what kind of "real man" would look for emotional support when should be out there making some faceless power structure more money that it knows what to do with (well at least it knows not to actually include the people whose backs were broken for that profit).
Maybe that's the point of "allowing" us touching for sexual and romantic purposes. A little outlet so that we don't get totally touch-starved, as Ozy says. Well when tying the only "appropriate" touching to something like relationships and sex that leaves a lot of guys hanging. Guys who just don't feel like being in relationships. Guys who do have little to no success in relationships. Guys who aren't interested in relationships with women (because let's face it even among "appropriate" touching for guys gay guys still get pissed on in terms of displays of touching and affection). Guys who are soul crushingly shy when it comes to expressing desire for affection.
Come on I know I'm not the only thinking about touching and guys (okay some of us may be thinking about touching guys right now but that's cool too). Don't be scared to share.
(Normally I keep my personal stuff at my place but I think this is just too big to presume that I'm the only guy that feels this way.)
I've been on a bit of a self diagnostic kick lately and have been reminded of another part of me that's probably a bit lacking.
Last week titfortat told me:
You can a have a Massage at our wellness clinic(on the house). It sounds like you could use one. :)
To which I responded with:
That's another one of my oddities. I don't do a whole lot of that human contact stuff. Its not that I have a phobia or anything that limits it it just doesn't happen.
Well I was going to revisit this later on but Ozy's touched on it a bit so now's as good a time as any.
Virginal men, especially if they don’t have romantic relationships, are often touch-starved. There is one acceptable way for men to get touched: sexually. Casual cuddles with friends are Not Allowed. Woo, homophobia!
For the most part growing up with the script of being a man shoved down our throats most of us were raised with some odd messages with regards to touch. When we're young touching is fine among family but even that has a shelf life (I'm betting I'm not the only one that kinda shied away from physical contact with even my parents as I hit my teen years). Once the teen years hit it seems that out of nowhere the only acceptable type of touching is in a romantic or sexual way. Well for those of us who are not touching or getting touched in those "appropriate" ways things can get pretty lonesome.
As I was telling titfortat in the comments of that post I've never had a massage before. Well it actually goes beyond laying on a table wrapped in a towel and getting rubbed down. In a short bit of thinking I can only count 2 times in my life that I've ever been touched in a massaging manner in a non professional setting. Hell the only time I hug people is when the other person reaches for me first.
But anyway when it comes to being a man and touching it just seems that that, like most other, line of emotional support is forbidden to us as a part of how we are conditioned to fulfill our role in The System. No we are supposed to rock hard stoic creatures in order to charge forth and do all that we can to make The System stronger (namely in the way of labor as external providers). Because really what kind of "real man" would look for emotional support when should be out there making some faceless power structure more money that it knows what to do with (well at least it knows not to actually include the people whose backs were broken for that profit).
Maybe that's the point of "allowing" us touching for sexual and romantic purposes. A little outlet so that we don't get totally touch-starved, as Ozy says. Well when tying the only "appropriate" touching to something like relationships and sex that leaves a lot of guys hanging. Guys who just don't feel like being in relationships. Guys who do have little to no success in relationships. Guys who aren't interested in relationships with women (because let's face it even among "appropriate" touching for guys gay guys still get pissed on in terms of displays of touching and affection). Guys who are soul crushingly shy when it comes to expressing desire for affection.
Come on I know I'm not the only thinking about touching and guys (okay some of us may be thinking about touching guys right now but that's cool too). Don't be scared to share.
Wednesday, November 02, 2011
I don't care if he was a war criminal...
(I'm talking about sexual violence against a man so tread carefully and the link I'm about to drop has some pretty serious images up front and center.)
Gaddafi did not deserve to be sodomized before being killed.
Yes he is a war criminal that is responsible for atrocities that were probably only outdone by a few other people.
Yes he oppressed people and kept them in control with violence.
Yes if he had had his way about it he would have stayed in power and ruled with an iron fist.
But none of that justifies sodomizing him.
When stooping to his level of violence and depravity can those folks really call them selves rebels/freedom fighters?
Hell I can sort of understand killing him because that actually does serve the purpose of making sure that he will never rise again (I'm not sure if that makes it okay but what's the point of sodomizing him other than to inflict pain and humiliation?). But like any other man he did not deserve that. I can almost understand the desire to do that to him (because believe me when I say I have very serious issues with the thought of revenge) but ultimately its a display of violence that makes me wonder if those rebels are better than the man they disposed (Remember how the cruel tyranny of the French Monarchy was followed by The Reign of Terror?).
Rape is treated like a joke.
Rape is treated like a suitable punishment.
Rape is treated like a viable tactic to get someone to talk.
None of that is cool. From this display of sexual violence to the regular use of rape as a threat to get someone to confess on a tv crime drama. None of it is.
I'm glad that Gaddafi is no longer in power but what purpose did sodomizing him serve?
Fro tip to Ozy.
Gaddafi did not deserve to be sodomized before being killed.
Yes he is a war criminal that is responsible for atrocities that were probably only outdone by a few other people.
Yes he oppressed people and kept them in control with violence.
Yes if he had had his way about it he would have stayed in power and ruled with an iron fist.
But none of that justifies sodomizing him.
When stooping to his level of violence and depravity can those folks really call them selves rebels/freedom fighters?
Hell I can sort of understand killing him because that actually does serve the purpose of making sure that he will never rise again (I'm not sure if that makes it okay but what's the point of sodomizing him other than to inflict pain and humiliation?). But like any other man he did not deserve that. I can almost understand the desire to do that to him (because believe me when I say I have very serious issues with the thought of revenge) but ultimately its a display of violence that makes me wonder if those rebels are better than the man they disposed (Remember how the cruel tyranny of the French Monarchy was followed by The Reign of Terror?).
Rape is treated like a joke.
Rape is treated like a suitable punishment.
Rape is treated like a viable tactic to get someone to talk.
None of that is cool. From this display of sexual violence to the regular use of rape as a threat to get someone to confess on a tv crime drama. None of it is.
I'm glad that Gaddafi is no longer in power but what purpose did sodomizing him serve?
Fro tip to Ozy.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Video of the Day - Absolutely No Honor
Barely 2 weeks after a marine in NY schooled some local police on how they were treating unarmed civilian protesters some shit like this happens in Oakland.
Tip of the Fro to Daisy.
Tip of the Fro to Daisy.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Video of the Day - Asmaa Mahfouz
Is there something wrong with me noticing a part of the work and organizing that Asmaa has done seems to include invoking the "real man" clause? I mean really we get past this "if you were a real man...." stuff?
It really ramps up at about 8:06 where she says, "If you are a real man you have to come with me to protect me and to protect our country."
Don't get me wrong I would definitely say that she is fighting for a great cause and her heart is undoubtedly in the right place. I'm just wondering if she is just trying to invoke chivalry for her own ends (and I also wonder if maybe other people aren't noticing this because they think her ends justify the use of such means).
Sound off!
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Monday, October 17, 2011
Video of the Day - Excessive Violence?
So I was over at Spearhead earlier and came across a story about two women jumping over the counter at a McDonalds and attacking the cashier. This cashier got his hands on what looks like a metal rod of some sort and beat them to the point that one has a fractured skull. You don't actually see the hits due to them being on the floor and behind the counter but you can hear them screaming so tread carefully. (Sorry for no embed of the video, for some reason I couldn't get the embed code to work.)
My question is this. Bearing in mind that a lot of people will say that when attacked they should fight back should he face the felony assault charges he is staring down the barrel of now? I ask this because if this were a video of an attempted male against female rape I don't think people would be so quick to charge said female no matter how violently she fought back. Should he be charged? Is this a matter of self defense? Would we react differently if the situation were reversed?
Let's talk.
My question is this. Bearing in mind that a lot of people will say that when attacked they should fight back should he face the felony assault charges he is staring down the barrel of now? I ask this because if this were a video of an attempted male against female rape I don't think people would be so quick to charge said female no matter how violently she fought back. Should he be charged? Is this a matter of self defense? Would we react differently if the situation were reversed?
Let's talk.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Blog Carnival: Domestic Violence Awareness Month
I came across a link at Clariss's that goes to anytime yoga who is trying to organize a blog carnival for this month being Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
Just though I'd share in case someone wants to chime in on it.
Just though I'd share in case someone wants to chime in on it.
Monday, October 10, 2011
When You're Black In Japan?
I got a link to this video from a Facebook group I'm in.
When it comes to Japanese people and culture we know that there are Americans who try to embrace Japanese culture to the point that they erase the identities of Japanese people and that's before you get to the fetishization of Asian women. But did you know that there are some Japanese people who seem to like black culture in ways that may be a bit too much?
In the video you see a teenage girl by the name of Hina talking about her love of black culture. She embraces the dress, the dance, and even the skin color. Yes Hina goes to tanning beds in order to darken her skin.
Mind you this segment was being done from the perspective of Hina being different the usual cultural norm that pale skin is beautiful.
I'm all for people who find a subculture that they identify with and want to embrace but when it comes to cultures that are tied to a specific group of people I get a little weary about why they wish to embrace the culture. Is it because they have a similar belief system? Do they think it "looks cool"? But if you get like that about it you can say that nearly ever subculture from punk to goth to hipster is tied to a specific group.
What do you think?
Saturday, October 08, 2011
Video of The Day: Herman Cain
From The Last Word
Okay, I'll be the first to admit that I am not as politically aware as I should be. From there I think that my knowledge on politics is probably closer to that of Average Joe/Jane American than say, Jeff Fecke (no this is not a dig at him he's just the first person that came to mind). And as an Average Joe I have to say that I usually only hear Cain's name come up when he is defending himself from a comment that made or from the interpretation of a comment that he made. Frankly speaking he seems to always be on the defensive. Even in that clip he loses valuable time trying to answer Lawrence's questions about things like where was he during the height of the Civil Rights Movement in the 60s.
Now I'm not trying to endorse Cain but despite my not being on board with everything he says I do think he deserves to be seriously considered and not just written off which is why I'm sharing this. Such as while I agree with him that the rich shouldn't be expected to pay higher percentages (as in I don't think they should be held to a higher percentage but rather expect everyone to pay a fair percentage) I don't think the idea that 50% of taxpayers paying 96% of collected taxes is fair (I personally think that everyone was paying an at least relatively equal tax rate that discrepancy would clear up). And I have to admit that his book might end up on my Nook.
What are your thoughts on him? Do you think he would just become another drone gear in the colossal machine that is our government? Do you think he would break the machine and rebuild it into something that would do some real good? Consider this a Herman Cain open thread.
(While I won't mind too much mention of the other Republican runners gunning for the nod next year I kida want to keep this about Cain. But if you want to talk about them in general or want a specific thread about someone else just ask and I shall give.)
Thursday, October 06, 2011
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month: Open Thread
(This is a thread about domestic violence and abuse. Tread carefully.)
As the title says this is a month to recognize victims of domestic violence. Terrible that we even need a month to remind ourselves of things but that's another story. I wasn't sure what type of post to write so I've decided to make an open thread.
Domestic Abuse Help Line for Men and Women
This one has depictions of violence in it.
News Video: Abused Men
Toy Soldier: I've linked him a lot in my posts on violence. Give him a read and check out his side bar for links to sources for support for victims of violence.
Strictly Moderated: October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month: Ozy with her own post on this month. Check out the side bar over there too.
Reinvention of the Wheel: This is a post I did last year about a gender neutral Power and Control Wheel. Unlike the version made famous by The Duluth Model this one actually recognizes that not all domestic violence is male against female.
This one doesn't have any depictions of violence but it is of a victim showing the wounds from the abuse he suffered.
Please come and share your stories, links to lines of support, and anything else on the subject. Well not anything else.
1. Please don't try to question or deny the validity someone else's experiences of DV.
2. Please don't engage in arguing over "who has it worse". The fact that one type of violence may happen more than another does not erase that other type of violence. Victims quite literally come from all walks of life and they all need help.
As the title says this is a month to recognize victims of domestic violence. Terrible that we even need a month to remind ourselves of things but that's another story. I wasn't sure what type of post to write so I've decided to make an open thread.
Domestic Abuse Help Line for Men and Women
This one has depictions of violence in it.
News Video: Abused Men
Toy Soldier: I've linked him a lot in my posts on violence. Give him a read and check out his side bar for links to sources for support for victims of violence.
Strictly Moderated: October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month: Ozy with her own post on this month. Check out the side bar over there too.
Reinvention of the Wheel: This is a post I did last year about a gender neutral Power and Control Wheel. Unlike the version made famous by The Duluth Model this one actually recognizes that not all domestic violence is male against female.
This one doesn't have any depictions of violence but it is of a victim showing the wounds from the abuse he suffered.
Please come and share your stories, links to lines of support, and anything else on the subject. Well not anything else.
1. Please don't try to question or deny the validity someone else's experiences of DV.
2. Please don't engage in arguing over "who has it worse". The fact that one type of violence may happen more than another does not erase that other type of violence. Victims quite literally come from all walks of life and they all need help.
Sunday, October 02, 2011
Since we didn't name them last time...
It's come to our attention that between the bunch of us here we come across way too many things to post about during the week so we need a place to share those things that are interesting but maybe not interesting enough for a full post or perhaps there's not enough time in the week to post on them. To that end we present to you our roundup for the week (mental note, come up with clever or cool name).
Are you interested in blogging but don't have the resources to open a full time shop of your own? Do you already run your own shop but would like to join a group? Have something to say that and want a place to say it? Then give us a holler over at ethecofem[at]gmail[dot]com. Please forgive the age of these links. And feel free to share what you've come across this week.
State holds off on all-boys charter school; possible bias against girls cited: "State officials are withholding a decision on a key planning grant for a proposed all-male charter school in Madison over their concerns the concept discriminates against girls." What?
Michael Sanchez Gets Back His Abducted Daughter After Almost Four Years: So what's the value and purpose of the Hague Convention again?
Boys believe discussing problems is a waste of time and weird, says study: Speaking as a man who was once a boy I don't think they are digging deep enough with at least some of those boys. I can totally see how some boys would say that talking about problems was a waste of time in an effort to not have to admit that it would feel embarrassing. Remember, the script of being a boy/man says to NEVER ADMIT TO WEAKNESS.
More Misplaced Hatred For The Used Games Market: Logic. Mike Masnick has it. Quick real world example of how shutting down the used game market would really hurt customers (you know, the people that its supposedly all about?). Let's say I get my hands on a copy of Gears of War 3, play through it and really decide to go play the other two. Good luck finding a new copy of Gears of War 1 and 3. Or let's say I the Thief 4 sounds interesting but alas, I do not know the entire back story. I dare you to walk into any video game story and pick up a new copy of any of the previous three titles. Simply put if the used game market is killed off because it "hurts developers/publishers" then its going to hurt customers that want to get into a title that's part of an ongoing series. Used games are a very important gateway into getting into established franchises (yeah unless you really want to believe that all the people that are into the Bioshock series really started off buying the first one brand new).
Yes, It's True: Ben & Jerry's Introduces 'Schweddy Balls' Ice Cream Flavor: On the real? I guess the next flavor will be "Dezz Nuts In Yo Mouf".
The Myth Of Men Not Being Hot Party Mix:"It is true that men are too often assumed unattractive in our culture. Men are supposed to be the subjects, not the objects, the pursuers, not the pursued, the desirers, not the desired. This ties in with the gatekeeper model of sexuality, with Figleaf’s Two Rules of Desire, with Ozy’s Myth of Men Not Being Hot. And it’s total bullshit."
Kate Gosselin Scared As She Faces Unemployment: On the real this is not the first time a large family has lost its income stream. There are countless families out there that have faced and are facing this exact situation, and some are even larger than Kate's family. Don't get me wrong I feel for her but there's no need to act like this is the first time its ever happened. (But this bit of rant is not pointed at Kimberly Ripley, she's honestly the first article on it I cam across. This is more pointed all the folks making such a big deal about it.)
Hate amendment sponsor NC State Sen. Forrester on gays: ‘We need to reach out to them and get them to change their lifestyle back to the one we accept’: Yes Senator James Forrester wants to get gays to change their lifestyle back to one that is acceptable...
Chris Christie is Fat. Isn’t That Hilarious?: Jeff Fecke talking about why fat shaming a male politician is just not cool.
PETA Doesn’t Give a Shit About Humans: So it PETA run by human hating animals now or something?
Junk Food Is "Cheaper": Challenging the conventional wisdom that junk food is cheaper.
Are you interested in blogging but don't have the resources to open a full time shop of your own? Do you already run your own shop but would like to join a group? Have something to say that and want a place to say it? Then give us a holler over at ethecofem[at]gmail[dot]com. Please forgive the age of these links. And feel free to share what you've come across this week.
State holds off on all-boys charter school; possible bias against girls cited: "State officials are withholding a decision on a key planning grant for a proposed all-male charter school in Madison over their concerns the concept discriminates against girls." What?
Michael Sanchez Gets Back His Abducted Daughter After Almost Four Years: So what's the value and purpose of the Hague Convention again?
Boys believe discussing problems is a waste of time and weird, says study: Speaking as a man who was once a boy I don't think they are digging deep enough with at least some of those boys. I can totally see how some boys would say that talking about problems was a waste of time in an effort to not have to admit that it would feel embarrassing. Remember, the script of being a boy/man says to NEVER ADMIT TO WEAKNESS.
More Misplaced Hatred For The Used Games Market: Logic. Mike Masnick has it. Quick real world example of how shutting down the used game market would really hurt customers (you know, the people that its supposedly all about?). Let's say I get my hands on a copy of Gears of War 3, play through it and really decide to go play the other two. Good luck finding a new copy of Gears of War 1 and 3. Or let's say I the Thief 4 sounds interesting but alas, I do not know the entire back story. I dare you to walk into any video game story and pick up a new copy of any of the previous three titles. Simply put if the used game market is killed off because it "hurts developers/publishers" then its going to hurt customers that want to get into a title that's part of an ongoing series. Used games are a very important gateway into getting into established franchises (yeah unless you really want to believe that all the people that are into the Bioshock series really started off buying the first one brand new).
Yes, It's True: Ben & Jerry's Introduces 'Schweddy Balls' Ice Cream Flavor: On the real? I guess the next flavor will be "Dezz Nuts In Yo Mouf".
The Myth Of Men Not Being Hot Party Mix:"It is true that men are too often assumed unattractive in our culture. Men are supposed to be the subjects, not the objects, the pursuers, not the pursued, the desirers, not the desired. This ties in with the gatekeeper model of sexuality, with Figleaf’s Two Rules of Desire, with Ozy’s Myth of Men Not Being Hot. And it’s total bullshit."
Kate Gosselin Scared As She Faces Unemployment: On the real this is not the first time a large family has lost its income stream. There are countless families out there that have faced and are facing this exact situation, and some are even larger than Kate's family. Don't get me wrong I feel for her but there's no need to act like this is the first time its ever happened. (But this bit of rant is not pointed at Kimberly Ripley, she's honestly the first article on it I cam across. This is more pointed all the folks making such a big deal about it.)
Hate amendment sponsor NC State Sen. Forrester on gays: ‘We need to reach out to them and get them to change their lifestyle back to the one we accept’: Yes Senator James Forrester wants to get gays to change their lifestyle back to one that is acceptable...
Chris Christie is Fat. Isn’t That Hilarious?: Jeff Fecke talking about why fat shaming a male politician is just not cool.
PETA Doesn’t Give a Shit About Humans: So it PETA run by human hating animals now or something?
Junk Food Is "Cheaper": Challenging the conventional wisdom that junk food is cheaper.
Wednesday, September 07, 2011
Why the hostility?
So Daisy asks why I'm so hostile to feminism (Okay she didn't ask so much as wish I weren't so hostile to it and then I once again started asking myself that question).
Its a sensible question. Anyone that's ever read my posts, my comments at other blogs, seen where I both agree and disagree with feminists on a regular basis may be thinking that I'm a bit of a paradox when confronted with feminism. And that's not even counting the fact that I'm regularly contribute here, a feminist blog. How can a person who can see eye to eye with members of a movement have their hostility triggered so easily by members of that movement?
Its almost like there are two forces fighting for control of how Danny (yes I just referred to myself in the third person, love it) reacts to feminists.
On one hand I have no problem with interacting with them at places like No, Seriously What About Teh Menz ? and The Good Men Project. But on the other I can get into some pretty heated disagreements with them at those very same places (I go by "Danny" at both of those places BTW). There must be more to it.
Yes an X Factor. Something that when triggered has me fighting off the urge to dog feminists out for every bit I can with no thoughts of mercy or quarter (if it makes you feel any better this is not unique to feminism, its one of the parts of being a Scorpio that really sticks).
I have to figure what it is in order to deal with it. And on the bigger picture I know I'm not the only one with such hostility (and not just with feminists, I'm talking hostility with anyone that comes off a bit strong) and said hostility has to be confronted.
Its a sensible question. Anyone that's ever read my posts, my comments at other blogs, seen where I both agree and disagree with feminists on a regular basis may be thinking that I'm a bit of a paradox when confronted with feminism. And that's not even counting the fact that I'm regularly contribute here, a feminist blog. How can a person who can see eye to eye with members of a movement have their hostility triggered so easily by members of that movement?
Its almost like there are two forces fighting for control of how Danny (yes I just referred to myself in the third person, love it) reacts to feminists.
On one hand I have no problem with interacting with them at places like No, Seriously What About Teh Menz ? and The Good Men Project. But on the other I can get into some pretty heated disagreements with them at those very same places (I go by "Danny" at both of those places BTW). There must be more to it.
Yes an X Factor. Something that when triggered has me fighting off the urge to dog feminists out for every bit I can with no thoughts of mercy or quarter (if it makes you feel any better this is not unique to feminism, its one of the parts of being a Scorpio that really sticks).
I have to figure what it is in order to deal with it. And on the bigger picture I know I'm not the only one with such hostility (and not just with feminists, I'm talking hostility with anyone that comes off a bit strong) and said hostility has to be confronted.
Any input would be greatly appreciated.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Feel the storm? Its coming.
No matter where you live you have sort of natural disaster that lurks in the shadows and could strike at any moment. Here the natural disaster of choice is the hurricane. A wild and unpredictable mix of wind and rain the hurricane brings forth great vengeance and furious anger, resulting in winds that can rip a tree from the ground, flood waters that can take houses away, and chaos that can confuse even veteran emergency personnel. While I admit I was talking smack about hurricanes yesterday even I know when to get serious and respect them And this is one of those times.
That there is a screen shot of hurricane Irene's expected trajectory as of about 8:45pm tonight. Notice the main orange line that runs through the trajectory. Then notice the yellow dot off to the side. I live right around that dot. See the issue?
In short Its. About. To. Go. Down.
This might get ugly. I'm preparing to hunker down get my defenses up, which is kinda ironic. I always used to get mad at people who refuse to leave even in the face of almost certain death and ruin. Maybe I finally understand why they refuse to leave. This is where I live. This is where I exist. This is my home. If its to be swept away then I'll be here to see it off, even it takes me with it.
More than likely the power will go out and internet will be lost. I'll try to find a way to let people know how it all went down (because frankly unless the whole damn town gets wiped out no one will care, the media will look at Pitt county then skip us and go check on the Outer Banks). Hell depending on how I hold up I may very well have an on sight exclusive on the coverage of the damage.
So until we cross paths again this is Danny's Corner signing off.
April do you think you can keep it under control here for a few days?
May the Force be with us.
That there is a screen shot of hurricane Irene's expected trajectory as of about 8:45pm tonight. Notice the main orange line that runs through the trajectory. Then notice the yellow dot off to the side. I live right around that dot. See the issue?
In short Its. About. To. Go. Down.
This might get ugly. I'm preparing to hunker down get my defenses up, which is kinda ironic. I always used to get mad at people who refuse to leave even in the face of almost certain death and ruin. Maybe I finally understand why they refuse to leave. This is where I live. This is where I exist. This is my home. If its to be swept away then I'll be here to see it off, even it takes me with it.
More than likely the power will go out and internet will be lost. I'll try to find a way to let people know how it all went down (because frankly unless the whole damn town gets wiped out no one will care, the media will look at Pitt county then skip us and go check on the Outer Banks). Hell depending on how I hold up I may very well have an on sight exclusive on the coverage of the damage.
So until we cross paths again this is Danny's Corner signing off.
April do you think you can keep it under control here for a few days?
May the Force be with us.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
These links have no name.
It's come to our attention that between the bunch of us here we come across way too many things to post about during the week so we need a place to share those things that are interesting but maybe not interesting enough for a full post or perhaps there's not enough time in the week to post on them. To that end we present to you our roundup for the week (mental note, come up with clever or cool name).
Are you interested in blogging but don't have the resources to open a full time shop of your own? Do you already run your own shop but would like to join a group? Have something to say that and want a place to say it? Then give us a holler over at ethecofem[at]gmail[dot]com.
Bisexual men can now relax with the official verification that they do, in fact, exist.
On the problem with the gold hysteria.
It's NEVER not fun to laugh at hipsters! (Some people call them emo, instead.)
Are you interested in blogging but don't have the resources to open a full time shop of your own? Do you already run your own shop but would like to join a group? Have something to say that and want a place to say it? Then give us a holler over at ethecofem[at]gmail[dot]com.
Sex, sexism, boundaries, and coercion: Toy Soldier with a few words on a oral sex post from Feministe.
Racialicious has a great post up about interracial dating, in the form of a panel discussion where black women share their experiences with interracial dating and their families' and friends' reactions to their relationships, and the acceptability of interracial dating in general.
April started yet another blog, which is more personal in nature. Random posts about random things will be randomly published there. Check it out, if you wish. Contains lots of pictures that are probably of little interest to most people, and personal anecdotes and/or rants, as these are her specialty.
Warren gives some reasons why Perry should not be voted for, by anyone. An exhaustive list; do check it out.
Grace of Alas, A Blog challenges conservatives to refute her points. The blog post, as well as the ensuing discussion, are fantastic, as Alas posts and comment threads tend to be.
'Fight gender inequality by empowering men': While I appreciate that more and more people are getting around to the idea that men need help I can't help but notice how the call for lending men a helping hand is still made via, "If we want to help women we should help men too." How would you (yes you reading this) feel if someone pretty much said the only reason they were helping you was because it would benefit other people. Is there some directive against helping men for the sake of men themselves that I didn't hear about?
Jon Stewart asks an important question: Why is the mainstream media flat-out and deliberately ignoring Ron Paul? (video.)
Oh, look. Since Florida passed the law requiring welfare applicants to be screened for drugs in order to qualify for benefits, not only were there only 2 positive drug tests out of 40 (one of which is being appealed), but it costs taxpayers more money to drug-test welfare applicants. I'm completely and 100% not the slightest bit surprised by this finding.
Anderson Cooper is adorable when he giggles.
Conservative contradictions for the win!
Jeff Fecke on why we need to, pretty much, just shut up and support Obama to avoid a Republican win in 2012. I vacillate between agreeing and disagreeing with him on this for a variety of reasons. I've commented over there with my thoughts on the matter if you're interested. Check it out.
Some friends of mine make music, and I like it. Listen, and like them on Facebook! Thaught is only one half of the creative genius, though, so don't forget to like the group AdverseEffect, too. Not sure if Mr. A has a page.
Racialicious has a great post up about interracial dating, in the form of a panel discussion where black women share their experiences with interracial dating and their families' and friends' reactions to their relationships, and the acceptability of interracial dating in general.
April started yet another blog, which is more personal in nature. Random posts about random things will be randomly published there. Check it out, if you wish. Contains lots of pictures that are probably of little interest to most people, and personal anecdotes and/or rants, as these are her specialty.
Warren gives some reasons why Perry should not be voted for, by anyone. An exhaustive list; do check it out.
Grace of Alas, A Blog challenges conservatives to refute her points. The blog post, as well as the ensuing discussion, are fantastic, as Alas posts and comment threads tend to be.
'Fight gender inequality by empowering men': While I appreciate that more and more people are getting around to the idea that men need help I can't help but notice how the call for lending men a helping hand is still made via, "If we want to help women we should help men too." How would you (yes you reading this) feel if someone pretty much said the only reason they were helping you was because it would benefit other people. Is there some directive against helping men for the sake of men themselves that I didn't hear about?
Jon Stewart asks an important question: Why is the mainstream media flat-out and deliberately ignoring Ron Paul? (video.)
Oh, look. Since Florida passed the law requiring welfare applicants to be screened for drugs in order to qualify for benefits, not only were there only 2 positive drug tests out of 40 (one of which is being appealed), but it costs taxpayers more money to drug-test welfare applicants. I'm completely and 100% not the slightest bit surprised by this finding.
Anderson Cooper is adorable when he giggles.
Conservative contradictions for the win!
Jeff Fecke on why we need to, pretty much, just shut up and support Obama to avoid a Republican win in 2012. I vacillate between agreeing and disagreeing with him on this for a variety of reasons. I've commented over there with my thoughts on the matter if you're interested. Check it out.
Some friends of mine make music, and I like it. Listen, and like them on Facebook! Thaught is only one half of the creative genius, though, so don't forget to like the group AdverseEffect, too. Not sure if Mr. A has a page.
Bisexual men can now relax with the official verification that they do, in fact, exist.
On the problem with the gold hysteria.
It's NEVER not fun to laugh at hipsters! (Some people call them emo, instead.)
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Probably the one time I'll do this...
It would seem that four of the five largest US tobacco companies are suing the federal government over a new series of new warning labels on cigarette packs (you can view them here).
The companies R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Co., Lorillard Tobacco Co., Commonwealth Brands Inc., Liggett Group LLC and Santa Fe Natural Tobacco Company Inc. (all but Santa Fe are based in here in NC meaning NC kills a lot of people) are basing their suit on the grounds that their right to free speech is being violated by way of being required to place ads on their that amount to "a government-sponsored emotionally charged appeal to not use their legal products".
I have to admit that I agree with them. If you look at the ads they are very much meant to appeal to emotion and scare them out of smoking. Pretty counter-intuitive. No I'm not defending cigarettes but if this were an industry that we had some sort of respect for I would also think this is a bit unfair (imagine Coke being required to put some sort of "drinking soda can cause diabetes" ad on their drinks). However I've already thought of a solution.
Ingredients. Of all the products you can buy in stores cigarettes are about the one and only produce that you consume but don't have an ingredient listing for. If you want to scare people out of smoking let them know about ingredients like menthol (and how its in there to give a cooling sensation that distracts your body from the throat and lung irritation of the smoke you're inhaling). No need to pull on the heart strings, hit them with cold hard facts.
The companies R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Co., Lorillard Tobacco Co., Commonwealth Brands Inc., Liggett Group LLC and Santa Fe Natural Tobacco Company Inc. (all but Santa Fe are based in here in NC meaning NC kills a lot of people) are basing their suit on the grounds that their right to free speech is being violated by way of being required to place ads on their that amount to "a government-sponsored emotionally charged appeal to not use their legal products".
I have to admit that I agree with them. If you look at the ads they are very much meant to appeal to emotion and scare them out of smoking. Pretty counter-intuitive. No I'm not defending cigarettes but if this were an industry that we had some sort of respect for I would also think this is a bit unfair (imagine Coke being required to put some sort of "drinking soda can cause diabetes" ad on their drinks). However I've already thought of a solution.
Ingredients. Of all the products you can buy in stores cigarettes are about the one and only produce that you consume but don't have an ingredient listing for. If you want to scare people out of smoking let them know about ingredients like menthol (and how its in there to give a cooling sensation that distracts your body from the throat and lung irritation of the smoke you're inhaling). No need to pull on the heart strings, hit them with cold hard facts.
Friday, August 12, 2011
A few questions about porn
Who doesn't like talking about sex and porn? I originally started asking these questions a few weeks ago.
1. Do you find that scene to be degrading to the person on the bottom, and by extension degrading to people of any demographics that person may be a part of? Why or why not?
2. Would you say that that man likes degrading women? And by extension would go as far as to say that since he is into that that would be a sign that he does not respect women in general? (This question is in regard to a specific porn scenario so go read the whole post to understand the context.)
3. Why are people so hung up and hell bent on trying to use someone's (especially men's) sexual proclivities as an indicator of their personality?
4. Would you like to share any childhood/pre-sexual experiences that they think influenced their adult predispositions? (Tip of the Fro to Easily Enthused on that one. Also there are some ground rules on this one. They apply over here too.)
Feel free to chime in either over here or back over at my place on these. I look forward to any input.
1. Do you find that scene to be degrading to the person on the bottom, and by extension degrading to people of any demographics that person may be a part of? Why or why not?
2. Would you say that that man likes degrading women? And by extension would go as far as to say that since he is into that that would be a sign that he does not respect women in general? (This question is in regard to a specific porn scenario so go read the whole post to understand the context.)
3. Why are people so hung up and hell bent on trying to use someone's (especially men's) sexual proclivities as an indicator of their personality?
4. Would you like to share any childhood/pre-sexual experiences that they think influenced their adult predispositions? (Tip of the Fro to Easily Enthused on that one. Also there are some ground rules on this one. They apply over here too.)
Feel free to chime in either over here or back over at my place on these. I look forward to any input.
Sunday, August 07, 2011
Should a rape victim have to pay child support?
I put this up over at my place a few days ago and since April is out of the office I'll share it over here in the meantime.
(I'm talking about rape here. Tread carefully.)
I'm in the final stages of studying for a certification exam (tomorrow morning at 11a) but I didn't want this to get lost in my Weekly Mashup.
Kris Bucher is being held up for child support. However he says that he was raped by the mother of the child and should therefore not be held responsible for child support.
Alright we've seen cases before where under aged boys were held up for support of children they had with adult women. Or even worse sometimes said under aged boy's parents would be held responsible to pay it (can you imagine being ordered by a court to pay child support to a woman that statutorily raped your son?). In this case though Kris is saying that the age difference is not the issue (and I'm inclined to agree since he was 17 and she was 18 at the time of conception) but rather that he said no to the sexual encounter that conceived the child.
As a quick reference I've laid out before that a woman can rape a man, so there is no need to try to question that.
The hard part to think about is was he raped (he never pressed charges) and should he be held responsible for supporting a child that was conceived through rape?
I think its pretty obvious that if the genders were reversed and we were talking about a man raping a woman, getting custody, then trying to hold her accountable for child support most people would realize that that would fail as soon as the child was born because who would let a man that raped a woman keep custody of a child that was produced by rape (about the only way I can think of that working is if the fact that it was rape never came up).
Another thing to bear in mind is that so far this is an alleged rape. So there's no conviction to point to.
The best I can say is the outcome of holding him responsible for child support would have to depend on her being put on trial for rape and being found guilty or not guilty. But that's going to be a tough road considering that most people simply don't take rape seriously and even then most of those same people don't even acknowledge that female against male rape can even happen.
Oh and one more thing. Why is she asking for child support when she's already got another guy in her life? And it doesn't help that Kris himself is married to someone else and has become a step dad of two.
So what do you think?
Edit: Clarissa has posted her take on the matter.
(I'm talking about rape here. Tread carefully.)
I'm in the final stages of studying for a certification exam (tomorrow morning at 11a) but I didn't want this to get lost in my Weekly Mashup.
Kris Bucher is being held up for child support. However he says that he was raped by the mother of the child and should therefore not be held responsible for child support.
Alright we've seen cases before where under aged boys were held up for support of children they had with adult women. Or even worse sometimes said under aged boy's parents would be held responsible to pay it (can you imagine being ordered by a court to pay child support to a woman that statutorily raped your son?). In this case though Kris is saying that the age difference is not the issue (and I'm inclined to agree since he was 17 and she was 18 at the time of conception) but rather that he said no to the sexual encounter that conceived the child.
As a quick reference I've laid out before that a woman can rape a man, so there is no need to try to question that.
The hard part to think about is was he raped (he never pressed charges) and should he be held responsible for supporting a child that was conceived through rape?
I think its pretty obvious that if the genders were reversed and we were talking about a man raping a woman, getting custody, then trying to hold her accountable for child support most people would realize that that would fail as soon as the child was born because who would let a man that raped a woman keep custody of a child that was produced by rape (about the only way I can think of that working is if the fact that it was rape never came up).
Another thing to bear in mind is that so far this is an alleged rape. So there's no conviction to point to.
The best I can say is the outcome of holding him responsible for child support would have to depend on her being put on trial for rape and being found guilty or not guilty. But that's going to be a tough road considering that most people simply don't take rape seriously and even then most of those same people don't even acknowledge that female against male rape can even happen.
Oh and one more thing. Why is she asking for child support when she's already got another guy in her life? And it doesn't help that Kris himself is married to someone else and has become a step dad of two.
So what do you think?
Edit: Clarissa has posted her take on the matter.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
I'm not completely buying it
So it would seem that the women of The Talk issues an apology for their commentary last week about Catherine Kieu Becker allegedly drugging her husband, tying him to a bed, chopping off his penis, tossing it in the garbage disposal and turning it on, and then telling the cops "he deserved it". As you recall I was, not happy about that.
Well it looks like either enough people were also not happy about it or those women grew a conscience in the last week.
Here's a link to the apology. (Embedding is disabled.) It starts about about 1:15.
Simply put I'm not fully buying it. Yeah its nice they apologized but hear me out for a bit.
1. She couldn’t start the apology on her own because she was fighting off the urge to laugh, and the crowd was laughing with her. You’d think they ask the audience to be serious. But on the real if you start laughing before you even begin your apology you really shouldn't expect to be taken seriously.
2. That apology was so generic you wouldn’t think they were laughing at it because it was a man despite Osbourne even saying that it was "different" because the alleged victim was a man. My money still says if that had been a woman that had her genitals mutilated that 4 minutes of laughter would not have happened in the first place. In fact I bet a few hosts of shows would have even done a "special episode" about domestic violence against women. As someone at NSWATM noted this line of logic basically means that making fun of female rape victims with the implication that rape against women is funny is bad only because you're joking about rape. The problem with their commentary wasn't just they were making fun of genital mutilation. The problem with their commentary was that they were acting under the notion that genital mutilation against men is funny because they're men. That is the conversation that needs to go down.
3. And speaking of that four minutes of laughter one of them gave a sob story about how hard it is to keep the conversation going on a live show. She also said they don’t always say the right thing all the time. Okay I understand no one’s perfect and we say the wrong thing at times but is that supposed to explain or excuse why they went on making fun of that man for FOUR MINUTES. Not 20-30sec, FOUR MINUTES. Can you imagine Dane Cook trying to defend his rape jokes by saying its hard to do live stand up for 10min. and sometimes the wrong thing comes out?
So while I do like that they apologized I'm just not feeling the love. Hopefully Beckers' alleged victim does.
But in the end it does show one thing. If this apology was the result of people sending in letters, complaints, facebook messages, and tweets then it means that there people out there that actually do care about men.
Well it looks like either enough people were also not happy about it or those women grew a conscience in the last week.
Here's a link to the apology. (Embedding is disabled.) It starts about about 1:15.
Simply put I'm not fully buying it. Yeah its nice they apologized but hear me out for a bit.
1. She couldn’t start the apology on her own because she was fighting off the urge to laugh, and the crowd was laughing with her. You’d think they ask the audience to be serious. But on the real if you start laughing before you even begin your apology you really shouldn't expect to be taken seriously.
2. That apology was so generic you wouldn’t think they were laughing at it because it was a man despite Osbourne even saying that it was "different" because the alleged victim was a man. My money still says if that had been a woman that had her genitals mutilated that 4 minutes of laughter would not have happened in the first place. In fact I bet a few hosts of shows would have even done a "special episode" about domestic violence against women. As someone at NSWATM noted this line of logic basically means that making fun of female rape victims with the implication that rape against women is funny is bad only because you're joking about rape. The problem with their commentary wasn't just they were making fun of genital mutilation. The problem with their commentary was that they were acting under the notion that genital mutilation against men is funny because they're men. That is the conversation that needs to go down.
3. And speaking of that four minutes of laughter one of them gave a sob story about how hard it is to keep the conversation going on a live show. She also said they don’t always say the right thing all the time. Okay I understand no one’s perfect and we say the wrong thing at times but is that supposed to explain or excuse why they went on making fun of that man for FOUR MINUTES. Not 20-30sec, FOUR MINUTES. Can you imagine Dane Cook trying to defend his rape jokes by saying its hard to do live stand up for 10min. and sometimes the wrong thing comes out?
So while I do like that they apologized I'm just not feeling the love. Hopefully Beckers' alleged victim does.
But in the end it does show one thing. If this apology was the result of people sending in letters, complaints, facebook messages, and tweets then it means that there people out there that actually do care about men.
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