Apparently, women make up only 17% of beer company Molson Coors' beer sales. So what is the best way to get women to drink more beer? Definitely don't try to figure out the real reasons why women don't like your tasteless swill. Instead, dye it pink! Everyone knows women only like stuff if it's pink.If Molson Coors needed help rectifying this, instead of pinkwashing their product, they could have looked at recent marketing survey findings. The number one reason women said they don’t buy beer is because they’re put off by the “inherent sexism in [its] advertising and marketing.” Surprisingly, “beer is an ugly shade of yellow-brown” was nowhere to be found on the list of women’s hangups.
Will these idiots ever get a clue? Between their over-the-top offensive ads to their utterly bewildering notions of what women want to drink (hint: it's probably not terribly different from what men want to drink, if you consider all related and socially-influenced circumstances, like the overwhelming fear of weight gain), you would think these beer company's marketing departments are staffed with Neandrathals who are just waiting for the perfect woman to drag by the hair into their caves.
If I wanted to drink fruity pink crap, I'd buy some white zin, or perhaps a Cosmopolitan. But since I never want to drink fruity pink crap, when I want an adult beverage, I buy beer. Real beer that is neither pink nor fruity, and definitely not made by Molson Coors. Because in addition to liking beer, I also like to drink things that don't taste like filtered pee.
Now, that's not to disparage pink fruity drinks, or non-beer drinks. Hell, I'm not even really trying to disparage white zin, although it's highly likely that I will soon. The great thing about cocktails is that they are virtually endless in their ability to cater to any and all tastes. If I had a higher tolerance for hard liquor, I might try more of them.
The only saving grace about this travesty of a beer is that I am positive it will sell horribly and be pulled from shelves very soon. I'm sure the marketing team will be confused, since pink things are a sure bet, right? But they'll get a clue, someday. Hopefully they're familiar with the internet.
In the meantime, I'm enjoying a delicious 5 Barrel Pale Ale. I'm into the hops lately. And for your viewing pleasure:
