Sunday, May 22, 2011

Guest posting.

Bonjour, persons of ethecofem.

That could be you. If you've got the balls.
I noticed a few moments ago on ethecofem's facebook [is that capitalized?] page that ethecofem is looking for guest bloggers, preferably of the feminine persuasion, someone who can capitalize on their experiences as a woman and can deliver their opinion with gusto and verve. There is no payment, but I think that's assumed. At least, I assume that April does not receive money behind the scenes while withdrawing my paycheck because that would be outright evil.

But we'll take anyone. And not because we're desperate, but because we're inclusive. And you don't have to be personally vetted or anything, you can just e-mail us the post and April will check it out, unless I get to the e-mail first. Then I will:
1. Copy and paste it into Microsoft Word.

2. Do that thing with the commenting system and mark up your whole outline with red highlighter. Then add commentary like: "I don't like this phrasing, fix it NOW!", "OMG, I think he's so cute, did you see that one movie with him?", "Lee Doren is NOT allowed to be mentioned on ethecofem." etc. etc. etc.

3. Send it back to you for immediate fixing. When you e-mail it back, I will then post it under my name and give you attribution in size-2 font. If you protest in the comment thread, I will moderate you out of existence.
The humor of this is probably lost on you and rightly so, it is not one of my strong suits. Some of the things I am personally interested in seeing, but an opinion which that carries no weight, are: Christian-Fundamentalist perspectives on homosexuality, birther-bagger-trickler opinions on Obama economic policy, humorous and insightful retrospective on the Bush administration, Supreme Court commentary on relevant social issues [not like Montana v. Wyoming shit] and so forth.

Even if you only have one interesting post to write, God knows I haven't had any, and you want to squeeze it out on ethecofem and die with dignity like the bumblebee, I say do it. Let your voice be heard from the mountaintop and ring from shore to shore, and then some.

For fountains of inspiration or sources for plagiarism, the drop down meñu to the top right breaks down the ethecofem back catalog by month, and will probably take you a few hours to read all the way through. E-mail this to that friend who wants an outlet to their writing but whom nobody will publish because their so awesome no one can tell. Forward this to the fundie who believes liberals are exclusive by their inherently awful nature. Consider this an opportunity to shamelessly promote yourself on a website that gets like, a 1000 hits a second.

Shut your eyes, imagine the possibilities.