A while back I recall reading a post on some blog (I THINK it was NSWATM) on a study that showed men as well as women were more mindful about what they ate when they were in the company of others. I didn't think I did this but low and behold I do.
A few days ago while out to lunch I came across some coworkers who offered me a seat at their table and I accepted. Just to explain I live in what one would call the boonies so its not like options to eat out are all over the place. Anyway this place in particular has a pretty good buffet given the lack of choice. And by pretty good I mean two plate plied up followed by dessert minimum good.
Oddly enough on that day, with those coworkers, I only ate a salad and a single modest plate.
It actually hit me as I was leaving that I actually cut my meal short out of fear of "looking like a pig". Don't get me wrong there's nothing bad about cutting your meal short in and of itself. To me its a matter of why one cut's their meal short. Am I doing it for me or am I doing it for other people? That whole thing about ends and means and justification.
Just an observation.
Excuse me while I rack my brain thinking back on every meal I've had with company to examine if I cut the meal short because I was with company (or because of certain company)....
Later.
Showing posts with label Body image. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Body image. Show all posts
Friday, December 02, 2011
Thursday, December 16, 2010
And they say a man's looks don't matter...
(Okay I thought I had actually posted this. Silly me for leaving it in the drafts for so long.)
So I was reading this post over at Renee's about the Sexiest Man Alive list done by Star magazine and I came across this one part that kinda made by blood boil.
Is it me or does it seem that some women love dictating what it is like to be a man?
As I commented over there (which BTW was modded down, I guess some people can't stand the truth) this is simply not true. Now before you start the "who has it worse" pissing match note that she did not say that a man's physical body aren't as limiting of his potential as a woman's physical body can be. No she straight up said that a man's physical body never has any bearing on his potential. I say nonsense.
Let's take actors for instance. If you look at the actors that some up on that list (she has some of them in her post and I can't find the list online) you'll see that not a one of those guys is what you would call fat. But that's not the trick to her post. Simply two paragraphs later she makes the very true point of how fat men are marginalized (and of course taking the paragraph in between to add in the obligatory "okay yeah there is something unfair that happens to men but above all else remember that they are privileged" mitigation).
So on one hand being fat doesn't limit my potential while at the same time because I'm fat I'm often automatically dismissed as not being considered sexy. Now while writing this post it hit me that maybe, just maybe when she was talking about "limiting his potential..." she was talking about his ability to succeed and trying to separate that from whether or not he thinks he is sexy. Then I realized that those two are not so easily pulled apart. Even if you eliminate careers that link directly to one's looks what a man (or woman for that matter) there is still the simple confidence factor. When you think you aren't attractive you shy away from things that might put your face out there. As much as I complain about answering phones all day I'd still rather do that than be a teller at my bank (yes there was that one woman whose firing from a bank over her attractiveness that caused a lot of noise but compared to say the modeling industry something happening like that in banking is pretty rare) and have people look at me all day.
And there's being large pretty much means you must be an athlete. Or that you're not very intelligent. Or that you don't practice good/regular hygiene. Or you're not active and must be lazy. Or that you must be lousy in bed (assuming you don't crush the poor woman right?). (And of course there's swinging the pendulum to the other side and making assumptions about small guys.)
But hey what do I know? I'm just an actual man rather than a woman trying to tell men what their lives are like. (Either that or I'm really missing something here.)
When I read that post I was reminded of an ad for that new music game Power Gig.
Notice what happens to the guy when the narrator says, "You don't need to be sexy, or good looking."
So I was reading this post over at Renee's about the Sexiest Man Alive list done by Star magazine and I came across this one part that kinda made by blood boil.
When we look at a man's physical body, it is never seen as limiting his potential...
Is it me or does it seem that some women love dictating what it is like to be a man?
As I commented over there (which BTW was modded down, I guess some people can't stand the truth) this is simply not true. Now before you start the "who has it worse" pissing match note that she did not say that a man's physical body aren't as limiting of his potential as a woman's physical body can be. No she straight up said that a man's physical body never has any bearing on his potential. I say nonsense.
Let's take actors for instance. If you look at the actors that some up on that list (she has some of them in her post and I can't find the list online) you'll see that not a one of those guys is what you would call fat. But that's not the trick to her post. Simply two paragraphs later she makes the very true point of how fat men are marginalized (and of course taking the paragraph in between to add in the obligatory "okay yeah there is something unfair that happens to men but above all else remember that they are privileged" mitigation).
So on one hand being fat doesn't limit my potential while at the same time because I'm fat I'm often automatically dismissed as not being considered sexy. Now while writing this post it hit me that maybe, just maybe when she was talking about "limiting his potential..." she was talking about his ability to succeed and trying to separate that from whether or not he thinks he is sexy. Then I realized that those two are not so easily pulled apart. Even if you eliminate careers that link directly to one's looks what a man (or woman for that matter) there is still the simple confidence factor. When you think you aren't attractive you shy away from things that might put your face out there. As much as I complain about answering phones all day I'd still rather do that than be a teller at my bank (yes there was that one woman whose firing from a bank over her attractiveness that caused a lot of noise but compared to say the modeling industry something happening like that in banking is pretty rare) and have people look at me all day.
And there's being large pretty much means you must be an athlete. Or that you're not very intelligent. Or that you don't practice good/regular hygiene. Or you're not active and must be lazy. Or that you must be lousy in bed (assuming you don't crush the poor woman right?). (And of course there's swinging the pendulum to the other side and making assumptions about small guys.)
But hey what do I know? I'm just an actual man rather than a woman trying to tell men what their lives are like. (Either that or I'm really missing something here.)
When I read that post I was reminded of an ad for that new music game Power Gig.
Notice what happens to the guy when the narrator says, "You don't need to be sexy, or good looking."
Saturday, October 02, 2010
A Strongly Worded Letter
by Kristi
What could be the cataclysmic events that cause this woman, while catching her own reflection in a window, to clutch her sweatshirt around her and pull the hood up tightly around her face? Both shame and the need for more physical coverage occurring simultaneously are unusual partners in the vulnerability of this unfortunate young woman. Is she the victim of a sudden and brutal cold front blowing through town, just as she ponders the devastation unfolding because of her torrid affair with her sister’s husband? And what about that other young lady who, even though she just showered, suddenly realizes that she isn’t clean and fresh at all? How awful. Did she just shit herself while drying off because of a few too many bites of Aunt Nina’s bad potato salad? The viewer only needs to hang in there past the first seven seconds of each of these television commercials to find out what these two tortured women have in common, what the real problem is, what horrifying realization they have both come to. They have vaginas, and their vaginas most certainly smell foul….because, after all, they are vaginas, and vaginas smell bad, right? Thank God these feminine products are available to combat whatever odor is wafting from our vaginas. Yeah, right. I find these commercials offensive and degrading, but I feel even more so about the very existence of these products."
I decided to tell the people responsible for these products how I felt.
Dear (insert proper noun that represents the product makers who believe it’s okay to make money by using archaic myths about women’s bodies in order to hemorrhage their self-esteem and passive aggressively feed patriarchal superiority views. Hint: they rhyme with Fagisil and Bummer’s Sleeve),
On behalf of all the women I know and love, our vaginas don’t stink. If our Vaginas begin to smell bad, we will seek medical attention from a health care professional immediately. Your advertisements seem to insinuate that vaginas just smell funny, and we should be ashamed enough of that odor, to run out and buy a product to make our vaginas smell like flowers, soap, or clean sheets.
Women’s bodies are made to be self cleaning, and maintain a natural balance. Use of your products actually disrupts the natural chemical balance of the vagina, and therefore causes the very problems your product is made to overcome…not a coincidence. Our normal, healthy vaginas smell like sex. This is a far more attractive and stimulating scent than flowers, soap, or clean sheets. Our normal, healthy vaginas taste like sex and honey, a far more savory taste than flowers, soap, or clean sheets.
I realize that women make for easy targets when it comes to convincing someone they could be better, smell better. I’m asking you not to take the easy way out anymore. Especially for all the young women out there, please leave us and our vaginal self-image alone. Perhaps you could take all your laboratory technology and create a potent strawberry elixir for men to drink so their cum doesn’t taste like salty lotion.
Most sincerely, Kristi
Okay, let me digress just a moment to explain that last line about the taste of cum. That might have been a cheap shot, but, I figured there are probably a fair number of men at these companies, and I wanted them to know how it felt to have someone criticize their sexual output. Saying that male cum isn’t the best tasting stuff in the world isn’t exactly unfair. A refreshingly honest, female friend of mine told me that during her young, sexually curious period, she thought that she must be a lesbian because, in her personal assessment of sexual fluids, women tasted sweet and delicious, and men tasted salty and bitter. She went on to say, that a few years and several relationships later, she realized that this taste preference for women in itself didn't mean she was a lesbian, it only meant her taste buds worked.
Obviously, there are situations where a vagina can get pretty rank. Those are medical conditions which require a medical solution. At no point, should that solution include trying to “perfume up” the vagina. When we’re rearing our little girls, we have to make a special point of teaching them not to get soap in their potty hole or vagina when bathing. We explain in easy terms that this will hurt and it’s not good for any of their girl parts to get covered in soap. What doesn’t help, is when they see television commercials that tell them the exact opposite. The afore-mentioned humiliated woman appears on the screen, and the crystal clear message is, drown that vagina in clean smelling chemicals to clean that dirty vagina. My dream is to create a public service message to run immediately after these commercials. Something that says; Your vagina smells exactly as it should, lovely, sexual, intoxicating, alluring, natural, and individual. And while I’m at it, I’m tempted to add; and so does your pubic hair, so before shaving it all off, you might think twice about succumbing to the ideal of looking like a seven year old.
What could be the cataclysmic events that cause this woman, while catching her own reflection in a window, to clutch her sweatshirt around her and pull the hood up tightly around her face? Both shame and the need for more physical coverage occurring simultaneously are unusual partners in the vulnerability of this unfortunate young woman. Is she the victim of a sudden and brutal cold front blowing through town, just as she ponders the devastation unfolding because of her torrid affair with her sister’s husband? And what about that other young lady who, even though she just showered, suddenly realizes that she isn’t clean and fresh at all? How awful. Did she just shit herself while drying off because of a few too many bites of Aunt Nina’s bad potato salad? The viewer only needs to hang in there past the first seven seconds of each of these television commercials to find out what these two tortured women have in common, what the real problem is, what horrifying realization they have both come to. They have vaginas, and their vaginas most certainly smell foul….because, after all, they are vaginas, and vaginas smell bad, right? Thank God these feminine products are available to combat whatever odor is wafting from our vaginas. Yeah, right. I find these commercials offensive and degrading, but I feel even more so about the very existence of these products."
I decided to tell the people responsible for these products how I felt.
Dear (insert proper noun that represents the product makers who believe it’s okay to make money by using archaic myths about women’s bodies in order to hemorrhage their self-esteem and passive aggressively feed patriarchal superiority views. Hint: they rhyme with Fagisil and Bummer’s Sleeve),
On behalf of all the women I know and love, our vaginas don’t stink. If our Vaginas begin to smell bad, we will seek medical attention from a health care professional immediately. Your advertisements seem to insinuate that vaginas just smell funny, and we should be ashamed enough of that odor, to run out and buy a product to make our vaginas smell like flowers, soap, or clean sheets.
Women’s bodies are made to be self cleaning, and maintain a natural balance. Use of your products actually disrupts the natural chemical balance of the vagina, and therefore causes the very problems your product is made to overcome…not a coincidence. Our normal, healthy vaginas smell like sex. This is a far more attractive and stimulating scent than flowers, soap, or clean sheets. Our normal, healthy vaginas taste like sex and honey, a far more savory taste than flowers, soap, or clean sheets.
I realize that women make for easy targets when it comes to convincing someone they could be better, smell better. I’m asking you not to take the easy way out anymore. Especially for all the young women out there, please leave us and our vaginal self-image alone. Perhaps you could take all your laboratory technology and create a potent strawberry elixir for men to drink so their cum doesn’t taste like salty lotion.
Most sincerely, Kristi
Okay, let me digress just a moment to explain that last line about the taste of cum. That might have been a cheap shot, but, I figured there are probably a fair number of men at these companies, and I wanted them to know how it felt to have someone criticize their sexual output. Saying that male cum isn’t the best tasting stuff in the world isn’t exactly unfair. A refreshingly honest, female friend of mine told me that during her young, sexually curious period, she thought that she must be a lesbian because, in her personal assessment of sexual fluids, women tasted sweet and delicious, and men tasted salty and bitter. She went on to say, that a few years and several relationships later, she realized that this taste preference for women in itself didn't mean she was a lesbian, it only meant her taste buds worked.
Obviously, there are situations where a vagina can get pretty rank. Those are medical conditions which require a medical solution. At no point, should that solution include trying to “perfume up” the vagina. When we’re rearing our little girls, we have to make a special point of teaching them not to get soap in their potty hole or vagina when bathing. We explain in easy terms that this will hurt and it’s not good for any of their girl parts to get covered in soap. What doesn’t help, is when they see television commercials that tell them the exact opposite. The afore-mentioned humiliated woman appears on the screen, and the crystal clear message is, drown that vagina in clean smelling chemicals to clean that dirty vagina. My dream is to create a public service message to run immediately after these commercials. Something that says; Your vagina smells exactly as it should, lovely, sexual, intoxicating, alluring, natural, and individual. And while I’m at it, I’m tempted to add; and so does your pubic hair, so before shaving it all off, you might think twice about succumbing to the ideal of looking like a seven year old.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Why I hate advertising, pt. 4986
Thanks to my chemistry-nerd husband, I now have a better understanding of the chemical makeup of... makeup. Anti-aging creams, in particular. Allow me to attempt paraphrasing this newfound knowledge:
For the most part, products that claim to "erase wrinkles" or "invigorate" the skin for the purpose of decreasing the signs of aging, are creating a temporary illusion of skin tightness. The astringent qualities of the product tighten pores, creating a more even, youthful appearance, and a waxy or oily substance remains on the skin, allowing the effects to remain in the skin until it's worn or washed off, hours later.
I shamefully bought an undereye revitalizer... thing, the other day. I never thought it would happen to me, but since I turned 26, I've been preoccupied with the fear of looking "old." I'm self-conscious about undereye circles and "bags," and I noticed a mouth wrinkle, omg. So I actually bought a product that promised to lessen the appearance of undereye "puffiness" and circles.
I went home and read the instructions. It said to apply to a clean, dry face in the morning (and you can wear it under makeup, it says!) and at night, before bed.
I used the stuff this morning after I showered, before work, keeping in mind my newfound chemistry knowledge. It did, in fact, "burn" a little, in the way that suggests something medicinal, which I guess we're supposed to find reassuring. The instructions said to "pat" the area until it was absorbed. The thing is, after using the recommended amount of product on my "eye area," there was so much that I could pat for 20 minutes without making much of a difference. So I resorted to light rubbing, and then eventually started to just spread the stuff a little outside the prescribed "eye area."
Anyway, my eyes were less puffy, and for the rest of the day, I felt a slight pulling at the corners of my eyes. It was the waxy coating that the eye crap left behind.
What really gets me is not that it's just an illusion, but rather the fact that they instruct the user to apply is in the morning and at night. We've already established that the results are temporary and dependent on the product remaining intact on a person's face. The product does not work like Zoloft; it's not released throughout the bloodstream at intervals and dependent on a regular schedule of consumption. The cream works until it's washed or worn off. If you tell someone to wash their face, and then (quick!) put some more stuff on, the user will only continue to see the results of the product. Even though it's useless to wear while sleeping, as the further instructions are to use morning and night, on a clean face. So, that would require you to wash your face in the morning before reapplying it.
Clearly, they are attempting to simply make you believe that there are benefits to using this product more often than (you know to be) "necessary" so that you will use more of their product, and therefore have to buy it more often. And using it at night, as they needlessly suggest, will cause the user to think that the product is really making a long-term and sustained difference, as promised.
Their clever little advertising tricks drive me up a wall. It's the epitome of manipulation for personal gain, and it's infuriating.
For the most part, products that claim to "erase wrinkles" or "invigorate" the skin for the purpose of decreasing the signs of aging, are creating a temporary illusion of skin tightness. The astringent qualities of the product tighten pores, creating a more even, youthful appearance, and a waxy or oily substance remains on the skin, allowing the effects to remain in the skin until it's worn or washed off, hours later.
I shamefully bought an undereye revitalizer... thing, the other day. I never thought it would happen to me, but since I turned 26, I've been preoccupied with the fear of looking "old." I'm self-conscious about undereye circles and "bags," and I noticed a mouth wrinkle, omg. So I actually bought a product that promised to lessen the appearance of undereye "puffiness" and circles.
I went home and read the instructions. It said to apply to a clean, dry face in the morning (and you can wear it under makeup, it says!) and at night, before bed.
I used the stuff this morning after I showered, before work, keeping in mind my newfound chemistry knowledge. It did, in fact, "burn" a little, in the way that suggests something medicinal, which I guess we're supposed to find reassuring. The instructions said to "pat" the area until it was absorbed. The thing is, after using the recommended amount of product on my "eye area," there was so much that I could pat for 20 minutes without making much of a difference. So I resorted to light rubbing, and then eventually started to just spread the stuff a little outside the prescribed "eye area."
Anyway, my eyes were less puffy, and for the rest of the day, I felt a slight pulling at the corners of my eyes. It was the waxy coating that the eye crap left behind.
What really gets me is not that it's just an illusion, but rather the fact that they instruct the user to apply is in the morning and at night. We've already established that the results are temporary and dependent on the product remaining intact on a person's face. The product does not work like Zoloft; it's not released throughout the bloodstream at intervals and dependent on a regular schedule of consumption. The cream works until it's washed or worn off. If you tell someone to wash their face, and then (quick!) put some more stuff on, the user will only continue to see the results of the product. Even though it's useless to wear while sleeping, as the further instructions are to use morning and night, on a clean face. So, that would require you to wash your face in the morning before reapplying it.
Clearly, they are attempting to simply make you believe that there are benefits to using this product more often than (you know to be) "necessary" so that you will use more of their product, and therefore have to buy it more often. And using it at night, as they needlessly suggest, will cause the user to think that the product is really making a long-term and sustained difference, as promised.
Their clever little advertising tricks drive me up a wall. It's the epitome of manipulation for personal gain, and it's infuriating.
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