Wednesday, June 01, 2011

Names that fnc readers call Obama. [Updated for salaciousness.]

I've been reading a lot of Thought Catalog lately, a site filled with snark and vapid observations which always follow some ancient template, but still fun to read. In the spirit of TC, I thought I'd provide you with a list of nicknames that have been fermented in the vast pit of stupidity known as fnc.

(1) Dumbama -> My personal favorite

(2) Owebama -> integrating clever wordplay with the noble cause of deficit reduction

(3) Communist/Stalin - I see the similarity. Stalin was Georgian. Obama is black, like people from Georgia. Stalin killed 20 million people. Obama wants universal healthcare, to insure 20 million. Insurance is death. Georgia is Georgia.

(4) Negro/Darkie - Always prefaced by "I'm not a racist but Obama is a ~"

(5) Obamao - Clever as fuck. Liberal = mass murderer. Liberal = communist. Valid legislation = vi

(6) Obozo -He does seem eager to down a beer, amirite?

(7) BlowBama - I should congratulate them for not going for the crack stereotype. Or maybe he's like a secret homosexual [that would be awesome, maybe not for his picture-perfect family].

(8) Oh Boy Another Marxist Appointee - Same explication as #3

(9) Odumbo/Odumba - I couldn't in good nature make a distinction between these two beautiful fusions of disrespectful acknowledgement.

(10) Barry Soetoro - I guess this is supposed to be an insult, "nanny nanny boo-boo" to the fact that he's the proud owner of an authentic Hawai'ian birth certificate and certificate of live birth. Good signal for birth-spotters.

(11) Liar and Thief - As opposed to commander in chief. Also seen as "Libtard in Chief"

(12) Barack Hussein Osama - I'm just making this one up. But, the situation is identical to the Shakespearean monkeys. Give the neo-con orangutans [I feel dirty shame saying this] enough time and it will happen.

(13) Comrade Obama - Hail to the motherfuckin' chief.

(14) Piece of Shit -> Fucking Dunce -> Motherfucker - You get the picture. I ran out of anything witty to say by #2.

(15) Bonus -> Obummer, King Obama, Obamturd [not making this up], Odildo [I swear, I'm not], Oprama [Okay, I made that one up], Bamster, Obammy, Obanus [is that supposed to be anus and Obama fused together?], and finally, Oblabla.