Saturday, December 17, 2011

A long post you needn't bother read.

I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING about Newton, Willard or any other of the gawp candidates except hearsay. The same cannot be said about President Obama. Having read his books and listened to his speeches on the telly, I admire him with a respectful gaze and cast dirty looks at those who sully his name.

Considering the possibility that I've been so deranged by liberal media I can no longer discriminate good idea from terrible concept, and that perhaps the neoconservatives have good thoughts and valid criticisms I’ve failed to consider. For all intensive purposes I should be considered an Obamabot, if that is the term in actual use. The connotation that I follow orders, that I am a member of 'Obama's army', an accusation leveled at every irate liberal group alike to Wisconsinites, is not appreciated. Robot does best describe my avoidant reflex to being confronted with a swatch of deep red candidates who think gays, liberals, and minorities are sinners, and sins are real, and that there is one court higher than the Supreme Court and that is the court of Christ the King from which they received divine mandate.

No matter how much I complain about the quantity and quality of Republican candidates I can't say that I've watched any of their umpteenth debates, read one of their numerous folios, or made an effort to look for news sources more impartial than Colbert satire and gay, liberal, minority columnists in frighteningly left-wing publications such as Mother Jones. Most conservative ideas are repugnant simply by means of my class membership: I resent the Jewish-Nazi dynamic of immigrants and Alabamans because I’m an immigrant, I shy away from capitalistic worship as I’m neither rich nor a ‘job creator’, I don’t drive a car or trade oil futures, so why must the Americas be sucked dry? In a constitutional trial, a public forum, the defendant has the right to an impartial jury and the prosecution must reveal exculpatory evidence. To be the loyal and rational opposition to the right-wing, I might have an obligaton to consider points-of-view that could safely be assumed antagonistic. The defenders of conservative ideals might give off a foul mouthfeel, to do otherwise would make me a grade-A douche for not giving conservative values 'due process', and I'd hate to play into 'botnik' perceptions of liberals. What a dilemna!

That the couch potato acolytes of fnc doctrine should be taken as a representative sample of conservatives and the Republican is a consequence of their ability to make fantastic momentum from tiny mass and great velocity. One look at the prolific Disqus profiles of fnc commentators shows they are abhorrent people: statements rife with misspellings, purposeful and otherwise, odd choices of ASCII art, and a binary view of the world into actions for which President Obama is directly responsible (initiating the moral decay and eventual collapse of the American Empire) and those for which he conspired with other liberals to bring about (loosening hordes of hipsters unto the good people of various central business districts).

I did not harbored strong feelings against the fnc or the Republican party until the commencement of President Obama’s administration, when I began to notice all the vicious attacks derived from blackness or liberal elitism amongst other nonsense. Internally, it seems I’ve been reviewing those years, 2001-2009, looking for the case that I can refudiate modern conservative policies on feel alone, America by heart without the need to look twice. It cannot be said that I have been indoctrinated from birth with the ideas of the left. Similar to the perptuation of religious beliefs, family legends, and preferences regarding milk fat content passed from parent to child, had I been, I believe I would not now hold a depraved indifference towards conservative ideas. My earliest memory of an American politician, a man sympathetic our plight, whatever we were: George W. Bush in a television advertisement. The conservatives seemed to be nice people, and it was difficult to hear otherwise; perhaps I was an intelligent child but watching the English local and Spanish international news nor cared to have formed a hole in a picture of the nation at large.

When Barack Obama came around, only then was I becoming politically aware as a person. Formulating an opinion on everything: the war in Iraq is wrong, the war in Afghanistan is okay. I have decreed it. The war on drugs is a failure but government regulation is required. It is so ordered. Perhaps the single-minded fanatacism I can only be too concerned now, those ridiculous antics of Washington. It worries me when I visit my favorite news site,, and I’m browsing through the stories. As stated before, hilarity ensues when a story is published, while it could be about anything, wingnuts always scramble to make President Obama the causative agent. Observe that it is only one short step from pathological hatred of Obama to belief that he is conspiring with the Russians to “sap our precious bodily fluids through fluoridation”. But when fox finds itself reporting something worthwhile like the Fast and Furious debacle I look the other way, avoiding clicking the link to preserve my bubble. The callous attacks from right-wing nuts has filtered my vision of the presidency. These people have played the dangerous game of crying wolf too many times and now I cannot take them seriously anymore! I have done what is anathema to the family, and put my faith, which is an unnatural belief, in someone inherently undeserving of trust and belief, a politician. Where is President Obama’s birth certificate? Does he have enough experience to be President? At first, at the outset, I might have weighed both sides of the issue but I've been worn down by extremist insistence on the examination of minutiae.

But Obama, in addition to being a gorgeous, lyrically-spoken man, is the President of the United States! These are the kind of people that fight wars, as he has. The ruthless men who draw up budgets and treaties and laws as if they were playing board games, and then relax over a game of golf. Par!I shouldn't be caught defending their ethical transgressions in blog posts. (Did I ever say that it was okay to assasinate citizens of the United States? I don't recall at this moment.) Even though none of this improves in a change-up with Romney, Froth and Gang, I still can't pretend that Obama is my knight in white armor, ready to defend the goodness and wholesomeness of America. That he should be above criticism because he's the Obamabot's only viable candidate, the Luke Skywalker to our Leia-in-Distress, but I and the other bots need to grow the fuck up, because even Princess Leia knew her way around a ray blaster. So next time, I'll probably post something about how he has failed to live up to the phrase “Speak softly and carry a big dick” or some dissappointment and another.

Merry “winter religious festivities”, and a happy Gregorian new-year!

Baby Jesus: He brings you presents.