Friday, May 13, 2011

Children, the best weapon?

Another story involving the eternal struggle between the masculine and feminine. At this point, the peanut gallery on certain news websites is alive with speculation, filling in with detail and hue the coloring book of this narrative.

"Oh, he's probably a deadbeat dad who snorts meth and keeps hookers on speed-dial and swings his children around by the legs, not unsimilar to the practice popularized by Donald Sutherland"*

"That lady is being so selfish in seeking sole custody, a paragon of cuntish egotism."*

The woman, Mrs. Alaina Giordano, has started an internet campaign that seems rife with unapolagetic bitterness, staining the judge with the stamp of incompetence because she, Nancy Gordon, has neither spouse nor issue and so is relegated to that class of judges that simply pull decisions out of their ass-hats, an argument perilously close to those against Vaughn Walker and the Proposition 8 decision. Life experience has never been a requirement to assess matters of the law and this too is a cheap shot.

Neither parent has much going for them so far. They both seem to have cyanide-laced personalities, and all of the lack of compromise that comes with it. I just realized that I haven't mentioned that she has terminal breast cancer, but that's as irrelevant as the fact that she's a woman. Call me the heartless monster that I am, I want you to take note that one of Giordano's prime defenses for sole custody was the fact that she doesn't have much time left on the earth, so her children should stay with her until she dies which could be indefinitely. The husband says he should have sole custody because she has cancer, so her children should be whisked away from the unpleasant sight of their wasting mother. In the opinion, Judge Gordon decided to bring this into the mix as one of several reasons to grant the father custody, but it never should have been mentioned because outlooks and feelings and prognoses about terminal illnesses go in so many directions they are always sure to bring the ire of the public.

When the judge handed down this decision, it seemed only so that she could wash her hands of the affair and call it a day but that too has been a failure. None of the people involved in this case seem to have heard about meeting each other halfway, if only for the sake of the children. And I mean that literally, since Chicago and Durham are only 800 miles apart according to Google Maps and it would be perfectly reasonable to exchange the kids every so often, because they would benefit from seeing both parents periodically [and I'm operating under the assumption that neither parent is an abusive one.]

I wish I had a gavel right now, so that I could order this case closed.

*I totally made up these comments, but they're accurate in tone, spirit and sensibility.